Don't like your job ????

[ccrawford]

I love a good story that start with historical accuracy, even if it gets Janie all stirred up and I have to defend myself for a little bit. This one involves a famous artist we all know, but probably don't know much about. Michelangelo was both a great painter and a great sculpture, but sculpture was his favorite. He learned the rudiments of sculpture because his wet nurse was the wife of a stone cutter. When pope Julius II was in power, he coerced Michelangelo into painting the ceiling of the Sistine chapel in the Vatican in Rome. This was no small job, and took four years, finishing in 1512. This much of the story is true. So -- Day after day, Michelangelo was lying on his back on scaffoldinging painting the ceiling of the chapel. He became very bored and looked for ways to entertain himself. One day, a little Italian girl walked in the chapel and went down to the alter to pray. Michelangelo leaned over the scaffold and said in a low voice "Hello, this is the lord speaking, do you hear me ? The little girl paid no attention. Again he leaned over and repeated his question, but to no avail. Finally, on a third attempt, he boomed out "This is the Lord speaking, I demand that you speak to me!" The little Italian girl looked around and replied "Husha your mouth, Im'a talka to your Mama"

 

[Ross]

Ha Ha

 

[nadi]

 

[bvdr]

Thanks Chris, this is one I think I can remember well enough to pass it on.

 

[LoraW30]

Loved it!!!

 

[ShezaGirlie]

I only pick on people I like -- ya know that Guy -- good one! Here's one for you...

Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin and very inexperienced around men.

So, on her wedding night, while staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her.

'Don't worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.'

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.

Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'

'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'

So up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.

Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs.'

'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'

So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing the better part of three toes.

When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot-and-a-half.'

'Stay here and stir the pasta,' says the mother. 'This is a job for Mama!'

 

[ccrawford]

That's a keeper Janie !

 

[nadi]

Thought you might like this one

Thought you might like this one

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take
notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. --- Hasn't affected my brothers though."