Doctors are human too...

[Gnusgal]

I wanted to share something with all of you because I think it's something we all need to be reminded of once in awhile. We all complain about our doctors at one point or another (I admit that I've done it too), but I think sometimes we forget that they are only human. Let me explain:

I've been very frustrated the last few months about the lack of ANYTHING happening in regards to getting my ICD surgery scheduled. I've been talking with my cardiologist since April, so you would think it would be easy to have a June date set, wouldn't you? And I had thought everything was finally going well when a bomb dropped. Two weeks ago I found out that the EP, who my card had told me would be coordinating the surgery with the surgeon, had NO idea what I was talking about. I was extremely upset with my cardiologist and then had to wait to find out where the lapse in communication happened because she was away on vacation (how dare she be away when I needed something!).

I was finally able to talk to her yesterday. And you know what? She was just as frustrated as I was. She had talked to a surgeon who had said HE would talk to my EP. SHE assumed that things were set up when I got a phone call from my EP asking to set up an appt. It turned out that my EP was simply calling for a follow up, and it happened to coincide with other things. She was extremely upset that there had been a failure to communicate within the team of doctors.

As a matter of fact, she confessed to me that she is so fed up with the lack of communication skills among the doctors in her hospital that she's started to consider quitting, at least the ACHD side of things. It's wearing her down. She cares so much about each of her patients and feels as if she's the only one working hard to make sure they get what they need. When I said I really needed the surgery to be in June she told me honestly "I understand, but I can't make you any promises." She sounded so defeated. And I wished I could reach through the phone and give her a hug.

That's when I said "What can I do to help?" And there was dead silence on the other end of the line. I thought I'd lost the connection and said "Hello?" She said, "I'm here. I'm just thinking." I guess she's never had anyone ask that? Maybe we ought to do it more often. And when I told her "I want you to know that I'm aware you're doing the best you can," she sounded like she was about to start crying and got off the phone pretty quickly.

I'm telling all of you about this conversation so that maybe we can start thinking beyond our own needs once in awhile and realize that doctors do have feelings too. They do care, and ARE (usually) trying to do everything they can to help us. But all they can do is try. And sometimes that just isn't enough.

Now, I don't want you all to think that my situation alone is what triggered my doctor's mood. There was a lot more to it. She came back from her vacation to a mound of problems that were a result of poor communication between doctors as well as having one of her patients code while she was away. I know that hit her very hard.

I will be at my EP appt. on Tuesday, and plan on stopping by my card's office to give her a hug and possibly a card or gift of some sort. I think its important that she knows that she's appreciated. Perhaps others will think about doing the same for their very human doctors...

 

[Ross]

You want to see breakdown in communication, you should come visit our hospital. I swear no one talks to one another and they certainly do not read charts!

 

[Nancy]

Hi Niki-

Of course doctors are human. I don't want to make your card. feel worse than she is now, but I'm wondering why she didn't take the initiative and set things up herself instead of trying to work through someone else. I've lived long enough in this world that I do not trust a third party to take things as seriously as a second party. The only way to not get burned by the good ole boys is to do it yourself. She may have been on vacation, but there are telephones.

She sounds like a gem of a gal, but needs to get a lot more tough or they'll chew her up and spit her out, and laugh behind her back.

Just words from a nasty curmudgeon.

 

[Gnusgal]

I don't want to make your card. feel worse than she is now, but I'm wondering why she didn't take the initiative and set things up herself instead of trying to work through someone else.

And I can see that point. But we needed my EP to set things up because it is dealing with an area that she does not cover (electrophysiology). She assumed (wrongfully, I admit) that the phone call I recieved from my EP to set up an appt. meant everything was lined up as it should be. SHE is not the one that deals with my "electricity" (so to speak). She only coordinated it in the first place because we were trying to find a solution for some things and she had met with a team of cards who felt this would be the way to go. It should have been my EP dealing with it all. And I fully understand that my card is not blameless. I'm not saying that at all. But I am saying that HUMANS are not perfect and should not be expected to be so at all times. And we need to realize that we are not their only patients, and we may not be their top priority (come on, how important is an ICD implant in comparison to her patient who was being reviewed for transplant?).

And this is the FIRST time I've ever seen/heard her crack. I think the only reason she let me hear it was because of the relationship we have. I guess I'm sorry I even brought it up. I in no way meant to imply that she is less than a wonderful doctor. But even doctors have a breaking point. Be a curmudgeon all you want, but personally, I think it's an asset to have a human doctor.

 

[hensylee]

Yes, we all get frustrated with our doctors now and again. They are overworked, that's for sure. If the drug companies and news agencies would all quit telling us how sick we are, there might be a breather in there somewhere. I am sorry for the overworked doctors who care about their patients. I have one that is always at the hospital during the nights when I have been there. He is there early in the mornings, too. He is there after church on Sunday. When my mother was so ill, I would go outside at any hour of the night - and he'd be there. It's a wee hospital so you see everybody who is around. I was sitting on a step one night about 3 a.m. (smoking) and he drove in, walked past me, smiling impishly, put his hand on my shoulder as he went on into ER and said 'that's bad for you'. Then I learned he smoked, too. Yes, they are real people

On the other hand, I married one - he isn't human.

 

[bvdr]

I love my doctors and really know that not one of them would intentionally make an error. I know the grueling schedules and the complex problems that they are called upon to handle continually.

Some of my doctors I worked with before they ever became my doctors. Sometimes that is good but sometimes it hasn't really resulted in me getting the best medical advice. Many times I have been asked not only what I thought was going on but how I would like to treat it. That wasn't difficult in years past...back in the days when I considered myself hale and hearty....before the dam broke and I was flooded with medical problems one right after another.

Communication sometimes has sorely been lacking and it was ASSUMED that I would do the coordinating between different ones involved in my care. Example: With my recent shoulder injury I was seen by a doctor in the ER I used to work, I was then seen in my PCP's office in follow-up, and finally in my ortho's office. I was bruised and swollen from shoulder to a couple of inches above my wrist. Between the 3 doctors you would have thought one would have inquired about my INR? None did. Each one ASSUMED I would have told them if it was out of line. True, I would have told them but just found the situation a little strange.

ASSUMING someone else has handled a task is a great way to get in a lot of trouble. It also causes many time consuming avoidable problems. I really do know my doctors are human ......but I love them anyway .

 

[Harpoon]

Last year my cardiologist's father died unexpectedly. I found out only because the funeral was scheduled for the day after an appointment I had and my cardiologist was going to be in Maryland (where his dad was) for the whole week.

Of course the appointment got rescheduled, but I also sent a sympathy card to my cardiologist that he probably got when he returned home. He told me once where he lived (town anyways) and I (previously) found his address through the phonebook (he's not too far from me) and used that rather than the office address because I wanted it to be more "personal." Everyone sends thankyou notes and the like to doctors offices...

Mind you, this is also the guy we invited to our wedding (that's when I went through the trouble of looking up his home address.)


These guys (the good ones anyways) bend over backwards for us and it only stands to reason that they can get overwhelmed at times too. No reason why the patient can't lend a helping hand to the physician, if it's offered properly.


Besides, as Nikki said, some of that help may actually be of a direct benefit to the patient, an opportunity to become proactive in regards to your own care.

 

[geebee]

One of the reasons I am happy to be back in Ohio is being able to return to my cardio. This is a cardio who, when I first visited, was a "youngun" just out of residency. He had not yet even passed his boards. He told me "I practice conservative cardiology". LOL. He hadn't yet had experience with me - someone with a history that is anything but "normal text book".

Over the years, he learned that he couldn't predict everything and sometimes has to listen to his patients more than reading their test results. We have often talked about his original concepts of his practice and the real world out there.

The first time I went to see him after returning to Ohio, it was like a reunion. We discussed changes and family. I found out his wife recently left him (for a tennis pro no less - how Hollywood is that?) and he even started tearing up when he talked of his children.

I love having a human doctor. I don't think I would be around today if I had had a cardio who went just by the book.

Thanks, Niki, for making me remember.

 

[Harrybaby666]

Amen To That Brother!!!!

Amen To That Brother!!!!

You want to see breakdown in communication, you should come visit our hospital. I swear no one talks to one another and they certainly do not read charts!

It happens here in NH as well...BIG TIME...especially when the patient is on Medicaid/Medicare...what a bummer...Harrybaby

 

[ericaj]

I too agree that Doctors are human and we all have to remember this. I know that my Drs are completely great and without many of them I wouldnt be hear
today doing the treatment I am. Niki, thank you for reminding us all of this very important point.

Erica