Date Set

[denobobeno]

Well, I met with my Surgeon today. Dr Matter at Baylor Hospital in Dallas will be doing the surgery. I feel he is really capable and feel at ease with him. The date is set for July 13th. I have been trying not to think about the operation itself so much and have tried to focus on the fact that I'll be able to excercise again and keep up with my kids schedules..but...now I've read everything you have all written in and advice you have given and I have a question now. I don't have a recliner...will I be at a great disadvantage? Should I borrow one for a week or so??
There is also the question of how prepared do I get?? What if this surgery is the last I'll see of my kids?? or my husband but, I can be more frank with him (we'll celebrate our 25th anniversary July 10th before my surgery). I don't want to scare my kids, although they're 21,18,15. There is so much I want to say...but, everytime I sit down and try to write something I can't bring myself to do it. I am totally positive about this and I don't want to sound morbid.. but what if?? What have you all done?
I'm having the incision.. don't know what it's called, but it starts about 5 inches down from my sternum. Have any of you had that type and how long did it take you to feel like yourself? What can I expect?
sorry to bombard you but, my crazy mind starts wondering
Thanks in advance for any time you spend answering my questions!! Deana

 

[geebee]

Deana,
Congrats on setting a date - it will be here before you know it.
I did not have a recliner but I think it would have been very helpful and many members swear by them. I had to sleep propped up on a couch and a recliner would have been easier. If you can borrow one you should benefit as it may be a little while before you can sleep in your bed.
Lay in a supply of easily prepared foods for when you get home. Your family will want to spend time with you and this is one way to save time.
Set up a space for yourself near a bathroom. The first few days home you want things to be very available to you.
The "what-ifs" are very normal. Allow them to surface and try to express those thoughts to your family. You will feel better for it and this is a time to worry about yourself. Your family can handle it and you need to speak your mind.
You will have many questions over the next 2 weeks. Visit often and let us help.

 

[Phyllis]

Glad you have your date and I added you to the calendar. You will do fine and we look forward to hearing that all went well- in the meantime, ask away!

 

[aussiemember]

Glad you have your date. My thoughts will be with you in the coming weeks - Jeanne

 

[robertr]

Your Date

Your Date

Hi denobobeno,

I had my AVR on 6/12. Once I returned home, on the fourth day following surgery (6/16), I could not lay flat and I could not use 2 recliners that I already had at my house. So I went shopping with my Wife to purchase a new one. It seemed silly to be suffering at nighttime because I was too cheap to buy a decent recliner. One chair was terribly uncomfortable and the leg elevation was broken on it, and I could not get out of the other chair without help because it was manual leg lift and I could not reach the lever to elevate my legs. This can be a significant problem at 2am if you need to use the bathroom ; ) So, my brother and wife bought a chair at Stacy's furniture in Allen. This chair was my 2nd choice to another one we found at Rooms-to-go on central Expy. in Plano. Both Chairs were auto-powered leg lift and recline - that is what I needed. The reason I bought my 2nd choice chair is because I could pick it up right then, the rooms-to-go store had to ship one over from their warehouse and it was not available for 3 days. The rooms-to-go chair was much more comfortable, attractive and cheaper too. To be honest, I wound up returning the Stacy's chair on the 3rd day of ownership. 1) Because I was finally able to lay flat in the bed, and 2) it was not that comfortable and not a style that I wanted in my house. However, it got me through 2 nights of misery, so it served it's purpose. I did not get to see it before we purchased it, so I don't feel too bad about returning it. The folks at Stacy's were very kind and gracious about the whole thing...

As for being prepared: John 3:16 and Proverbs 3:5,6. You cannot be more prepared than this. He will see you through - Trust Him!!

On a more material basis, a "Texas Statutory Advance Medical Directive"; a "Texas Statutory Medical Power of Attorney", and a "Last Will and Testament" are good things to complete just in case... You can find these forms freely available on the Internet or you can inquire with an Attorney.

Don't get me wrong - I know you are going to be OK, but ultimately God is in control. Let His will be the goal for your surgery and Trust Him!! Be candid with your Family and get your house in order - that too will add to your peace about the whole situation. It sounds like you are at peace with your Surgeon/Doctors and Hospital choices? That adds alot to the comfort-level too...

My surgery and subsequent recovery has been text book if not miraculous so far... I walked 4 miles on my 11th day post-surgery (3 trips), and now (16 days post-op) I am up to 6 miles/day and could definitely do more, but I am tempering myself until I visit my Surgeon again on Monday. The difference I felt between day 7 and day 10 was night and day. In other words, the 1st week or so is the worst, but still not that bad. Trust me when I say that it is no where near as bad as you might think it will be.

As for incision, I cannot comment on that one. I have seen others on this forum report a 4-inch incision, and I don't understand if my surgeon just slipped or what... My incision is 12 inches long! I suppose if I had anything to complain about it would be that - pretty trivial in the grand scheme...

Anyway, I hope this is helpful to you, and please know that I will be praying for you and your family on 7/13. Trust Him!! Everything will be OK...

The struggle you are having now is far and away the hardest part (ie, time and anxiety leading up to surgery). Once it is done, the sense of relief and gratitude I have had are indescribable. I believe you too will experience the same thing and live a long life post-op.

May God Bless You!!

-Robert

 

[Georgia]

Deana, your kids are old enough to realize that you're not going in for routine surgery. I'm sure they're aware of the seriousness of ohs. I honestly feel that you don't need to go into detail with them; just let them know you're really really scared, but that the statistics for this surgery are terrific. You do need to tell them that you'll look horrendous immediately after surgery. And the kid who brings a camera into icu is cut out of your will!

Something else you need to discuss up front with them is that you'll need their help after surgery. Perhaps you need to divvy up chores? My kids were teens when I had cancer, and this housework thing became a major bone of contention. You won't be laid up as long as that, but you'll be unable to do anything for a few weeks. And you don't want to be lying around in dirt & clutter.

Something for one or more of them to do prior to surgery: a personal music player is great particularly for icu - it's very noisy in there, with a lot of groaning etc., and I found it incredibly stressful. I had my hubby bring in a cd player; perhaps one of your kids could prepare an iPod (or whatever) with your favorite music between now and surgery.

Recliner: imho, a must. Beyond the post-ohs sleeping issues, adjusting the angle takes pressure off your sternotomy. Lying down too much is not healthy, and sitting straight up can get tiring.

Now - you have about two weeks - time to go shopping (comfortable lounge clothes), see movies, go to a spa, go out to eat, get a haircut (your hair will be icky after surgery - won't grow for several months) etc. etc. Include your kids and treat yourself; you deserve it, and you won't be spending anything for entertainment for a few weeks post-op. So go forth and enjoy - it has the added benefit of taking your mind off your pending surgery.

Some members have used this time to do a small household project - like painting and redecorating their "recovery room".

Glad you have a date and it's not too far in the future and soon you'll be on your way to feeling normal again.

 

[Ozmercy]

Recliner YES

Recliner YES

I just bought a new recliner today per everyones advice. I took the time to check them all out with the criteria of "can I sleep in this chair?"

I don't have a date yet, but hope to have one next week, but my wife and I have been taking the time to set our house in order, as the saying goes.

I have talked with some of my family and there have been tears, but we have found that it has made us closer. There is nothing like honestly facing the challenges that lie before us. Depending on our attitude crisi can bring out the very best in people. My daughter who has had 21 surgeries due to Spina Bifida has shared many tips with me, but the one she keeps repeating is "The best part is people bring you presents!" I say this jokingly, but even if you don't get real presents, you can discuss things that need to dealt with, and draw closer to people who you may have needed reconciliation with etc. If anyone is uncomfortable with that you can just say "I am sorry I have never faced my mortality like this before and I hope we can face it together."

I took things one step further, and actually wrote requests for my funeral if, God Forbid, that should be necessary. I did this because my wife just went through burying her mother and the whole family was so in shock I had to make all the decisions. I don't want her to go through that again. If it is unecessary as I believe it will be at least the arrangements are all made for that day when it happens. I felt funny doing this and some other things, but then got great support here to plan for the best and worst. I too will be praying for you and I know things will turn out well.

 

[denobobeno]

wow!

wow!

Thanks to all of you for the help and time it took to answer. I wrote a long answer to all of you and it took me 45 minutes so I guess it logged me out and I lost everything!!
Now I have been sitting here too long and I am so tired that I have got to go to bed!! I'll get back on tomorrow, I want to thankyou again...until tomorrow!
Deana

 

[denobobeno]

Thanks again!

Thanks again!

I have now typed two lengthy messages and they both wouldn't go through. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I'll split them up this time.
Phyllis and Aussie member, thanks for the encouragement!

Robert,
Your little story about your recliner escapades gave me an idea.. I know someone who owns a couple of furniture stores and I'm going to see if he'll lend me a recliner for a few days.
Also, thanks for the Scripture. The other day I found a devotional book on my front porch. I opened it and it said " I hope book helps your heart like it has mine". The funny thing is that I only see this friend every so often.. I called and she had no idea about the surgery. I know God is in control and I'm at peace. I am certainly aware of the possibilities but I know whatever happens God will be there.
Thanks for the forms available, I will look them up. I am encouraged by your excercise! My husband read it and he couldn't believe it either! Good for you! Thanks so much, Deana

 

[denobobeno]

One more!!

One more!!

Gina,
I am glad that you reminded me about making some meals ahead of time. I have some good friends that will be bringing some meals but, I know that won't last too long, and I know my sweet husband is going to be worn out!
My energy is so bad though... I have to really pace myself. I went to the Mall with my daughter and was only there about 45 minutes but boy! I thought I was going to pass out going to the car. I didn't do hardly anything today. Everytime I got up I was out of breath. Do you remember feeling that way? I can't wait to feel good!! I'm really pumped about getting this all over with and feeling good. You are so helpful to everyone.
Thanks, Deana

Georgia,
You helped me so much too! Due to your advice I talked to my daughter today and explained that she may have really take over the laundry for a while. She was totally fine with that.
Also, she has an Ipod, I told her what you said about ICU and she is glad to let me borrow it. Great advice!
I make crosses and sell them at a local boutique. I probably will try to get extra made so they don't run out... it's hard to concentrate right now.. I don't know why..I guess my mind wonders too much.
Thankyou again!

Ozmercy,
I appreciate you sharing your experience too. I know it will be hard but, I think I'll just try to take them aside individually and tell them how much I love them. Thankyou, Deana

 

[Georgia]

Deana, the fact that your surgery was scheduled so fast shows that you're not in very good shape. A week before surgery I went to the furniture store with my hubby to get my recliner; trying out all the recliners utterly exhausted me; I had to go sit down while my husband did the paperwork. The exhaustion is the worst. So I know exactly what you mean about going to the mall.

Hang in there. I'm sure you're distracted and anxious and unable to concentrate. This is major major surgery - a life-changing experience. We've been there and know what you're going through. It's very difficult to have to redefine yourself as a "heart patient" and "sick" in such a short time.

The good thing is that you have a mechanical problem that can be fixed by a good mechanic. Not everyone's so lucky.

I'm glad you got your kids on board. I'm sure they're scared to death and are probably afraid to let you know. Sounds like you're handling their concerns very well.

 

[RandyL]

Everything will be fine. Listen to all the advice given forit will make your surgery and recovery so much easier. BTW you picked a great day for surgery since I was born on that day.lol Good Luck and keep asking questions that enter your thoughts.

 

[Der Biermeister]

What if this surgery is the last I'll see of my kids?? or my husband but, I can be more frank with him (we'll celebrate our 25th anniversary July 10th before my surgery). I don't want to scare my kids, although they're 21,18,15. There is so much I want to say...but, everytime I sit down and try to write something I can't bring myself to do it. I am totally positive about this and I don't want to sound morbid.. but what if?? What have you all done?
Thanks in advance for any time you spend answering my questions!! Deana

Deana - you have to forget about the statistics -- which by the way are SUPER all by themselves. Something like 98-99% success rate. BUT the 1-2% that don't fare too well -- like in don't make it -- they are NOT from around here. We all have prepared ourselves. We have chosen the best surgeons and the best hospitals - and so have YOU. All across the world, there ARE some "not so good" surgeons, and patients who are in very bad shape going into this surgery - AND THOSE ARE THE ONES WHO ACCOUNT FOR THOSE STATS. So my advice is ...... forgetaboutit. You are going to be just fine. You really are. You have worse odds just crossing the street .... in Chicago

 

[Der Biermeister]

My incision is 12 inches long! I suppose if I had anything to complain about it would be that - pretty trivial in the grand scheme...

Well .... my doc must have been better than yours ... my incision is only 10.5 inches!!! nan nan nah nah

 

[Guest]

The other day I found a devotional book on my front porch. I opened it and it said " I hope book helps your heart like it has mine". The funny thing is that I only see this friend every so often.. I called and she had no idea about the surgery. I know God is in control and I'm at peace.

Being at peace is, imho, half the battle.

As for your devotional book coincidence, I've experienced similar things ... and seen/heard others. Life is truly amazing, and it's these little "coincidences" that reinforce that, imho.

Good luck ... thoughts/prayers coming your way....



Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/quilt.html
"We got mountains to climb" ... Rod Stewart ... 'Broken Arrow'

 

[denobobeno]

Thanks all!

Thanks all!

Thanks for all your comments! I haven't felt too well the last two days or so.... I am having a good day today and so I'm trying to not overdo. Thanks again.
I asked my sister and she has agreed to let ya'll know how the surgery went. Thanks for all your prayers and concern. I am praying for many of you too.
xxooDeana

 

[Atlanta Sweetheart]

Deana,

Deana,

Good luck on your surgery! I know you wanted robotic and I was glad to share my experience, but I know you'll do just fine with your surgery. You have a great surgeon I am sure! My surgery was last year in July, so I think it's a good month to have it!! I'll put you on my calendar and will have you in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Cindy

 

[Leah35]

Good Luck!

Good Luck!

Hi Deana,

Wow, it sounds like you and I are at the very same place emotionally and physically. I am so tired sometimes that I can barely function. My kids have been great at picking up the slack, but it really isn't a great feeling. I am also looking forward to getting this over with and feeling better!!

My surgery is July 21st and I do not have a recliner yet, but after reading some of these posts, that is what I am looking into today. I'm hoping to be able to rent one for somewhere for a couple of weeks.

This week I have really been focussing on the "what ifs" because it is so hard not to. I know that the success rates are great, but what if..... Anyways, I went out and bought my kids little "pocket angels". They have an angel on the front and they say "Always with you" on the back. They are silver medallions that they can keep in their pockets....BUT because I have boys, who have a tendency to lose things....I got the jeweller to drill holes in them and put them on silver chains. I also got him to engrave "love mom" on the back....that way they'll always have me hanging around their necks....lol!

My mom is coming to stay with us after the surgery so that she can do the cooking and the cleaning, etc. That really is a Godsend, because my husband will have to go back to work. I feel quite prepared. I do not have a will yet, but I plan on getting one this week. My husband knows my wishes.

For now, I'm just coping with the anxiety, which is difficult.

I'm so glad that you found this site because it has helped me out a great deal. Keep the questions coming because there are many people who will have answers for you. I too, will write your date on my calendar and I wish you and your family all the best!

 

[denobobeno]

I feel like I have all these new friends via this site. All your comments help in some way or another. I always love checking and reading what everyone has written.
Leah and everyone,
It's nice to know that others out there that are going through the same thing. I'm soo thankful that my surgery is next week. I think waiting is the most difficult part. I'm ready to feel better and get back to life. I have a hard time sitting around.. although, I have to admit that it's been kinda nice having a good excuse to be lazy. I've been watching movies and reading and sleeping.... but... I see the weeds getting taller in my flower beds, my sister mopped my floors yesterday.... we've missed out on some fun parties (july 4th)...two of my best friends (knowing how much I love the Lake) invited me to go spend the night at the Lake...but, I just get too tired and with surgery so close I'm trying to save my energy...I feel guilty because, although I plead for my husband to do these things without me, he won't go.. I wish he would because I feel like I've intruded on him enough!...and we've still got a long way to go!
The only fun thing to do is eat. Ha! My mom made me homemade chicken & dumplings and strawberry shortcake...wow it was good!
Okay, your idea about the the little pocket angels was an inspiration. I'll have to think of something like that. I feel pretty good today so I may get out later and go find something.
I should have a lot of help afterward.. my mother lives here and all my brothers and sisters (there are six of us) live here to except one.
I feel for my family... we lost my dad two years ago. He died of congestive heart failure... his mitral valve busted loose. He fought a long, hard battle. He was in ICU for 4 months, he got staff infection from surgery,he developed AARDS, went into septic shock, and we eventually lost him several months later. But, I know having to go through all this...ICU.. seeing me on the ventilater..the whole thing..all the memories.. will be so hard on everybody.. not so much because they're worried about me, but because it'll remind them of my dad.
Anyway, didn't mean to go on and on!! I feel totally up for this and I think everyone else is much more worried than I am! I think it's probably harder to watch someone else someone else go through stuff than go through it yourself. I'd much rather do this than watch my kids or my grandkids go through it all!!
I feel so blessed by all of you and am thankful.
xxooDeana

 

[Leah35]

It sounds like you have a really positive attitude and that is half the battle. I know it's hard watching your loved ones do your housework, and weeding, etc... but it has to be done right now. I think you're right when you say that its' harder on everyone else than it is on you. I keep trying to prepare my husband for how I will look in ICU, but you can't really prepare anyone for that. I know it will be hard on him, but he's a strong guy! My folks have been through it all already, but I'm sure it doesn't get any easier.

Anyways, keep up the positive attitude and we're looking forward to hearing from you once you reach the other side of the mountain.