Peronally, as a result of Skyler’s surgery, I have been surprised by the number of people who have banded together for him – people who we never expected.
Some of the people who really stepped up were his school and teachers. He started at a new school in September (Junior High), and was also switched classes in October, so he had only been in his class for about a month when he had his original surgery date. He missed a lot of school going through pre surgery and stuff, which can easily make you an outcast at that age. However, there were several kids in the class who decided to make cards for him. Several of his teachers came to visit at the hospital, not once, but a couple times each. His friends came and visited, not in the hospital (they were in school), but afterwards many times. They don’t seem to have any issue. The teen group that Skyler is a part of came to visit him a couple times. If anything, this surgery has made him MORE popular, not less. He went back to school one morning to visit before Christmas (he got a pass from the hospital for the morning), and his Science teacher made it a Q&A period for everyone to simply quiz him on what he had been doing for the past month, and show off his electronic pump. It was great for Skyler to get some of the stuff off his chest, and also to get everyone comfortable with his 24-h IV pump. It’s also exciting for him to tell everyone he can be MORE active now than before. He’s also become a favourite with the school admin staff.
Many family members came to visit at the hospital.
It must be something about being a kid.
As for us parents, our friends have truly been wonderful. Some friends volunteered to come clean our house, others to take care of the little kids on big days (surgery day), even though their own schedules are so packed that they don’t allow it. We haven't lost or gained any friends, but we have gained a lot of respect for Skyler's school and teachers. I guess my only surprise was that one of my husband’s sisters had a complete breakdown when he left a message simply saying that Skyler’s surgery was in fact happening, and it hadn’t been delayed. She lives with my husband’s mom and ran off screaming and crying that Skyler had died before hardly listening to the phone message (as his mom reports). Then again, she is a rather anxious and dramatic person, so it wasn’t that surprising.
Our situation, however, may be different than many, however. This surgery for Skyler has been expected since he was 4 months old. Family has been through much worse – they were told that Skyler wouldn’t survive the first valve replacement surgery, and everyone had prepared for that back then. For Skyler to be with us at all is a joy, and this last surgery was in many ways a relief. The thick cloud of “when will he need surgery next” may be permanently gone – if what his surgeon predicts is true.
If no future surgeries is in fact a reality, Skyler’s future may be entirely more normal than his life has ever been. This may be something harder for Skyler to get used to than any of the rest of it.
The most immediate change in Skyler, however, is that he has started thinking about others a smidge, and started to prioritize what is really important.
i.e. He spent his own money on his sister's Christmas present, and his top priority was to be HOME. As much as he cared about his Christmas gifts, the reality that he wasn’t supposed to be home at Christmas and easily could have been in the hospital opened his eyes in a wonderful way.
