hensylee
Well-known member
Y'all enjoy, hear?
Only A Southerner Knows
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece, They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20, but they know exactly how far it is for two whoops and a holler. Southern farmers know engineers don't know anything about what folks want in trucks especially when they no longer have running boards or dimmer switches in the floor board and vent windows.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage In the South should you hear the word "knock", to know what it meant, would depend upon where you were - at a door, baseball game, or viewing a pregnant woman..
Southerners refer to one person as "y'all" and more than one as "all y'all." Southerners know that the hard part of castrating a grown tom cat is getting him in a rubber boot , head first.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. They also know hominy comes from corn and is made using lye water from hardwood ashes. This lye water can also be used to make lye soap. Should you hear a Southerner giving directions for distribution of excess food and they say "Don't give them nary one", you know they are on the outs.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Should you hear a person say, "I cast my eye over there by that log and there lay a snake" You must know he is a Southerner.
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. I don't reckon people born in Texas know how to make sweet tea, you can't find none out there Every Southerner knows that a person with a five gallon bucket, a can of slop worms, and a reed cane pole is going to the creek to give fish the sore mouth and a flying lesson. This same Southerner might still use a cork bottle stopper for a float. A southerner says brim, trout, and catfish while others say blue gill, large mouth bass, and bull heads There still might be some old Southerner around that could listen to a mule bray over the telephone and tell what size collar he wears. What is a collar? Damn Yankee! A Southerner knows that home made whiskey six to eight years old from a charred white oak keg is better than any store bought whiskey. They also know that real beer is the water from around the corn and rye that is distilled to make this whiskey. That a real good "Moonshiner" always has a puke tube on their still to prevent this beer from getting into the whiskey and making it taste bad.
A old Southerner knows that a ready roll is a cigarette manafactured in a factory and that shore nuff snuff, not that stuff sold today as snuff ,is either sweet or not and does not have wintergreen . mint or other flavors and is always dry. This snuff is put in the front of the bottom lip, some Southerners chew a sugarberry or hackberry twig into a brush and then dip into the snuff and then into the mouth.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southern-ness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southern-ness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads "I ain't from the South but I got here as fast as I could." Those people from elsewhere have changed the religion of the south. It use to be that a person's religious affiliation was their business and it was toward a Church. political differences lay in the candidates themselves. Now it seems that political affiliation is more of a religion. The old Southerner would vote for a yellow dog rather than cast a vote for a Republican and now it seems this is true of both party affiliations.
Bless your hearts, y'all have a blessed day.
Bye, Y'all.
Only A Southerner Knows
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece, They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20, but they know exactly how far it is for two whoops and a holler. Southern farmers know engineers don't know anything about what folks want in trucks especially when they no longer have running boards or dimmer switches in the floor board and vent windows.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage In the South should you hear the word "knock", to know what it meant, would depend upon where you were - at a door, baseball game, or viewing a pregnant woman..
Southerners refer to one person as "y'all" and more than one as "all y'all." Southerners know that the hard part of castrating a grown tom cat is getting him in a rubber boot , head first.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. They also know hominy comes from corn and is made using lye water from hardwood ashes. This lye water can also be used to make lye soap. Should you hear a Southerner giving directions for distribution of excess food and they say "Don't give them nary one", you know they are on the outs.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Should you hear a person say, "I cast my eye over there by that log and there lay a snake" You must know he is a Southerner.
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. I don't reckon people born in Texas know how to make sweet tea, you can't find none out there Every Southerner knows that a person with a five gallon bucket, a can of slop worms, and a reed cane pole is going to the creek to give fish the sore mouth and a flying lesson. This same Southerner might still use a cork bottle stopper for a float. A southerner says brim, trout, and catfish while others say blue gill, large mouth bass, and bull heads There still might be some old Southerner around that could listen to a mule bray over the telephone and tell what size collar he wears. What is a collar? Damn Yankee! A Southerner knows that home made whiskey six to eight years old from a charred white oak keg is better than any store bought whiskey. They also know that real beer is the water from around the corn and rye that is distilled to make this whiskey. That a real good "Moonshiner" always has a puke tube on their still to prevent this beer from getting into the whiskey and making it taste bad.
A old Southerner knows that a ready roll is a cigarette manafactured in a factory and that shore nuff snuff, not that stuff sold today as snuff ,is either sweet or not and does not have wintergreen . mint or other flavors and is always dry. This snuff is put in the front of the bottom lip, some Southerners chew a sugarberry or hackberry twig into a brush and then dip into the snuff and then into the mouth.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southern-ness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southern-ness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads "I ain't from the South but I got here as fast as I could." Those people from elsewhere have changed the religion of the south. It use to be that a person's religious affiliation was their business and it was toward a Church. political differences lay in the candidates themselves. Now it seems that political affiliation is more of a religion. The old Southerner would vote for a yellow dog rather than cast a vote for a Republican and now it seems this is true of both party affiliations.
Bless your hearts, y'all have a blessed day.
Bye, Y'all.
