Hey boog,
My BAV with stenosis and "moderate to severe" regurgitation and an enlarged ventricle was diagnosed at age 32 and I pretty much thought it was the beginning of the end too. Then I carried on as normal, which for me was a pretty intense lifestyle, for another 7 years. Only then did I become symptomatic and even that didn't slow me down too much. When the actual surgical time came up a year after that, I really started to worry.
I'm on the other side, 18 months out now and I have to say, it's not half as big a deal as I thought. Certainly not the end of the world, or even my active life. A surgeon other than mine, a friend of a friend, told me not to worry a bit. He said that we younger (under 60 is young to a cardiologist or cardiac surgeon) patients are good for the stats!. We don't tend to have a lot of other problems (co-morbidities) and tend bounce back pretty fast with great outcomes.
Everyone is different but I found that the more I educated myself about the condition and the surgical solutions the less I worried about it. At the time of diagnosis I used to tell people, mostly jokingly, that by the time I needed surgery they would be really good at repairing the valves and I would get to keep mine. 8 years later the surgeon told me that when he had me open he was considering trying to save the valve but ultimately decided it was too far gone. Who knows what will be possible by the time you need surgery, assuming that you ever do. Even if technology never advances further, I'll testify that it is pretty awesome right where it stands.
Paul