Attitude Adjustment

[terryj]

My husband is the heart valve patient and had his Aortic Mechanical Valve replaced nearly 4 years ago. I came home from work yesterday in a bad mood. Tough day at work,boss on vacation,etc. He tried to joke me out of my mood(after 37 years of marriage this usually works) but that didn't do anything but make me cry. He came up to me and put his arms around me and told me I needed an attitude adjustment and he said he had one nearly 4 years ago when the doctor told him he was going to put him to sleep and crack his chest open and cut into his heart and all he could think of was never seeing his wife,kids and grandkids again. Well, that did it for me after lots of hugs and tears I had my attitude adjustment. He is so strong a person and never let me know how he really felt before his surgery. I don't think I will ever forget him telling me this and I will try not to sweat the small stuff as they say.

 

[Ross]

Attitude adjustment or reality check? One way or the other, the meaning certainly came through loud and clear huh?

I remember the morning I left. I looked back at the house and truly wondered if I'd ever see it again, same for the wife and kids. I had real bad misgivings about the last surgery and those thoughts nearly came true.

 

[terryj]

I knew I was feeling all those things when we found out he had to have surgery. Like we were doing everything for the last time. But, like I said he is so strong and he really never showed his emotions. I guess he was just being strong for all of us and not wanting us to worry about him. Reality check? Yah, I think I like that better than attitude adjustment.

 

[Guest]

Attitude adjustment or reality check? One way or the other, the meaning certainly came through loud and clear huh?

*nods*

Yep ... certainly does come through loud'n'clear. And, it's all about perspective....


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 31swm/pig valve/pacemaker
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"Watch over them for me" ... Daryl Worley ... 'If Something Should Happen'

 

[Michelle]

I know both of us felt that weight on the way to the hospital. Post op I was thrilled with everything ,because Hank made it through. Then the ouff had the nerve to get depressed ( There was no valvereplacement.com, so we didn't know that was normal ) I remember feeling very angry with him for that. He had just survived open heart surgery and was supposed to be as relieved and thrilled as I was.

It didn't last long. Now sometimes it is hard to believe we went through it at all.

 

[Michelle]

Speaking on attitude adjustment I had another thought... Hank used to do this one simple thing, that used to make me nuts. The man could not put his socks in the hamper.. Usually they were left on the floor underneath the computer desk... Then he would get upset because he didn't have clean socks.....

Do you know that I thought of that in the waiting room, while he was in surgery.... suddenly I longed to continue having that little annoyance.

Happy ending!! I still do and not only does it not bother me in the least, it brings me comfort ( the same as hearing his clicking) I hope I am still picking his socks off the floor 50 years from now.

 

[hensylee]

Michelle, my (ex) husband always said he married me to pick up his sox. He ALWAYS left them on the floor. One day, after about 25 yrs, I asked him to please put them in the hamper because it was only a few steps away. He did - and never left them on the floor again.

Interesting about husbands and sox. What in the world? Do you other husbands do this, too.?

 

[Cris N]

Gee whiz Terry, you made me cry...

Gee whiz Terry, you made me cry...

What a wonderful man... you are quite fortunate. And I know just how he feels.

Thanks for sharing this with us... a good attitude adjustment for me today... I've been whining about my incision pain ... you helped me put into perspective.

Cris

 

[Lynlw]

Thank you for sharing that. I've aways said the ONLY good thing about having a baby with heart problems is it really makes you appreciate everything so much. We always spent alot of time together and so many 'normal' things like going to kinddergarden being one their first team and every brthday is so special because you know they are really gifts,and i learned really early what is realy important and what isn't. lyn www.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw

 

[Michelle]

Ann, Tried having him put them in the hamper, he says he doesn't know which one is for dirty clothes( can't always blame him there, I do tend to have hampers of clean clothes waiting to be folded) he has started saftey pining them together, which is very nice.

Lyn, It is odd how trials make the good things shine a little brighter!!!

 

[terryj]

I have a seperate hamper in the bathroom for my husbands whites(he wants them bleached and bleach breaks me out). He is great about putting his undershirts and tightie whities in there but his socks are always stuck in his shoes or beside his dresser. It has to be a man thing. When I take off my clothes they all go straight to the clothes basket in the laundry room. So much easier when doing laundry.