Are we totally crazy??!!

[Christina L]

Hi everyone. Wayne and I sent off our completed dossier on Saturday to our adoption agency. They will peruse it, get it put together with Chinese translation, and send it off to China in two weeks. We wrote a check for another $3200.00. The balance will not be due until we travel to China (now the time line is for us to travel mid summer next year).

Anyway, I am just thinking what ARE we doing?? Am I being blind to my health/heart? Yes, I had a repair, but I have read statistics on the web and frankly they are not good for repair or replacement. Am I scaring myself needlessly? I also now have hypothyroidism and possible heart enlargement from this. Just worried and thinking (sadly) that I am going against the grain and deep down I am just trying to extend my life by adopting and denying that I have a heart condition.

Just need some more support from y'all - need some frank talk to make me look to a future for myself and Wayne, with the adoption of a daughter.

Thanks much.

Christina L

 

[Karlynn]

No you aren't crazy. (Well, you may think so when Emma gets to her teens. )

I know you have multiple concerns, but I think there's a fine line we all walk between being careful and deliberate, and letting something control our lives to the point of distraction. Been there, done that and have bought several t-shirts! I don't recommend it.

Christine, I think you need to move on with your life assuming that you have a long, full life left to live. There really hasn't been anything that has shown up that would tell you otherwise. Anything that may be surfacing now is highly, highly treatable.

I know the saying is "expect the best and prepare for the worst", but I have had personal experience in taking that "prepare for the worst" part too seriously. Expect the best and deal with the other stuff as it arises, not before. You'll have the strength to do that if and when you need it.

You are going to get Emma, and 6 years from now, you'll be going over your latest echo with the doctor and he'll say whatever he has to say, you'll follow his advice - then leave the office knowing that, if there is a problem, you'll take care of whatever it is, but Emma's got a Kindergarten soccer game to go to and you don't have time to dwell on it, because then it's off to ballet class for her.

Regardless of what you need to do to treat you issues right now, I think you'll look back years from now and realize that Emma was the best medicine.

 

[Georgia]

You know, Christina, looking back and thinking on parenthood, I had a lot of doubts and concerns while anticipating having our child. I worried about money and health and all the stuff you're worrying about.

I think one of the most important things children bring to us is perspective. When you have your Emma you'll know what's most important - that little life is the be-all and end-all of your existence. Many parents don't have good health; but they make it through and their lives and the world are enriched. There aren't any guarantees in life. Do you think that little girl would prefer to NOT have a shot at life with you? That she'd rather spend her life in an orphanage?

You and Wayne have a wonderful gift to give; this should be a time of joy for you. Put your worries about your health on a shelf - you've done about all you can do to get diagnosed. And enjoy this precious time leading up to having this baby.

btw - there's a wonderful Carter's outlet at Colorado Mines; and the Neiman Marcus outlet there has some fab baby girl clothes. hint hint.

Go for it, kiddo - you'll never regret it (well, until she's a teenager, of course).

 

[Andrew'sMom]

Oh my gosh! How exciting ...!!!! I am very happy for you and your husband!! Christina... this is a huge step and you are going to do fine! Yes, you guys are crazy -- crazy in love with the idea of being parents ... and crazy in love with that little girl who is just waiting for you and Wayne to take her home and fill her world with love, joy and happiness!! Congratulations on taking that big step! I am so happy for you! Big hugs & smiles coming your way right now!!

 

[Phyllis]

All good advice, Christina. I can't add to it except to say that having a child is one of the greatest blessings of life. You and Wayne have so much to give and you should put aside your fears and consume yourself right now with all the joys of anticipation.

 

[Christina L]

Oh and don't forget

Oh and don't forget

the piano lessons - those are a MUST.

Thank you Karlynn - your response to my thread is exactly what I want and need from all of you - another verbal slap (or two) in the face - the FACE, Ross!!!

Wayne and I walked downtown last night and of course, we live at 7800 feet in the Rocky Mountains - anythere there is a HUGE hill to walk back up to our home - my heart did some flip-flops and I think I may have had some a-fib until I did the Valsalva and it went away. I did get very nervous before attempting the walk up the hill, though, and I know a lot of it right now is my mind. If Dr. Larson hadn't told me last November that I had possible right heart enlargement, I would still be thinking that I felt great probably and would have had no problem with that hill. Those are the things right now that scare the bajeebers out of me.

I have been reading a book on Chinese adoption - The Lost Daughters of China - it is so interesting - says that the suicide rate among women in the rural areas of China is one of the highest in the world. Talks about all these baby girls who are given away because boys are so very much wanted in China. I know that we would be saving a life also in adopting Emma - but I will admit gladly that we are adopting for "selfish" reasons first and foremost. We want to experience the joy of raising a child.

Karlynn, as usual, your words are so wise. I appreciate your unceasing encouragement and PATIENCE in dealing with me.

I know deep down that the cardiologist was partly right when he said that I may be looking for an "out" in my health in regards to the adoption - adoption is HUGE and I always thought Wayne was the nervous one - now I realize that if I were to back out of the adoption, WAYNE would be very disappointed.

Thanks so much Karlynn. I will read your post over and over. You know the problem is, now we have 10-12 months to WAIT - knowing me, probably every three months, I will put a thread on VR.com asking for another beating from y'all.

Christina L

 

[Christina L]

While I was responding to Karlynn -

While I was responding to Karlynn -

I got some more "slaps" and didn't know it!! Thank you Georgia, Phyllis and Andrew's mom. Your posts will be read over and over also - those of you who have had children know the joy they bring and I can tell, you don't want me (or Wayne) to miss that experience. Thank you for helping me with your kind words.

P.S. Georgia - I have tried to keep myself from buying any children's clothes yet - but I sure look at them. I told my sister, I bet that I never buy another thing for myself as I will spend all our money on Emma.

Christina L

 

[Karlynn]

the piano lessons - those are a MUST.

your response to my thread is exactly what I want and need from all of you - another verbal slap (or two) in the face

She'll hate the practicing, but when she's older she'll appreciate the ability.

Not a slap in the face Christine, a nice warm hug with several pats on the back.

 

[Christina L]

Karlynn -

Karlynn -

Truly I NEED a sleep in the face (or two), but the hugs and pats on the back are nice also.

Christina L

 

[geebee]

Christina,
None of us know how long we have on this earth nor what is down the road. We can only act on what is here today. Today you have all the love in the world to give to Emma. Do not deny her or yourselves that wonder.
As someone pointed out in your other thread, even if your life is cut short down the road, wouldn't Emma still be much better off for having had you for a short time and to be able to live her life in this wonderful country?
Trust your actions of today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

[LLJ]

Hells bells! I don't see any statistics telling me I am leaving this planet early!
Buck up, it's like OHS every day when you have a kid! Like Karlynn said wait until the teen years! It is a gift,a joy, a worry ,the greatest heartache and the highest high. Like a roller coaster NOT a merry go round. So, what do you think? Are you ready? My very good friend has two children from China, One boy (believe it or not) and one girl. We believe her daughter, who is 8, will one day be a great yogi (she practices yoga all by herself) or a great cyclist.(she rides like the wind) Her son will march off to fight Darth Vader just as soon as he finishes his homework. So, are you ready? You can do it, just think your heart has been all fixed up for a greater purpose!
LLJ

 

[Ross]

Truly I NEED a sleep in the face (or two), but the hugs and pats on the back are nice also.

Christina L

Well I've tried, but you keep telling me your married now.

 

[Christina L]

Gina -

Gina -

thanks for your sweet words. I guess I am being selfish - I want to raise Emma to at least young adulthood - it is like "all or nothing" for me in that regard, yet there is a part of me that is being altruistic and I know whatever happens to me, Emma will have been saved from a less-than-optimal life in an orphanage in China.

LLJ - I like your style - buck up - okay I will! I will try - your description of parenthood is so great. I also like your attitude - just read on MSN.com yesterday that attitude is everything when it comes to living to a ripe old age - no matter what health problems a person has, attitude can truly overcome them. A lot of people here on Vr.com are shining examples of that theory.

A lot of you on this thread have warned me about teenagers! So what's the problem there?

Ross I am not only a married woman, I now am about to be a mother and I need to set a good example for my daughter. When she gets to be a young woman, I will have to warn her about guys just like you! Hee.

P.S. I have been talking about needing slapped all through this thread and I want y'all to know that Emma won't have a hand laid on her in punishment for anything. Wayne and I don't believe in hitting or spanking - I am not saying it is wrong for other people (spanking that is) but we could never do it. We never hit or punish our pets and absolutely will never harm our child. Just wanted to make that clear.

Christina L

 

[Philip]

Go for it!!!

Go for it!!!

Children are wonderful! Go for it!! If I had known how much fun they are I may have started earlier. I'm sure you have spoken to others that have been through this process, if not and would like to do so I can perhaps put you in contact with friends who have.
Check out my potential prom dates in my avatar!
Philip

 

[Christina L]

Thanks Phillip for the uplifting

Thanks Phillip for the uplifting

post regarding our upcoming adoption. I have heard the same thing from many people, that if they had known how wonderful children were, they would have started long ago and had more of them!!

Of course, I have to say that I would not have been a bitter old unhappy woman if we never adopted a child. Emma is only going to make life better. Wayne and I both have had wonderful lives, traveling and doing our own thing - I guess "been there, done that" and now we want to experience the other joys in life.

Phillip - I do believe those beautiful children of yours will have "prom dates" knocking unceasingly at your door and ringing your phone off the hook - you will be left out in the cold.

Christina L

 

[Glenda]

Christine, what a wonderful thing to do. You guys will make wonderful parents.

By the way, I love teenagers. When we were younger (much younger) we used to be the youth leaders in our church. We had at least 25 teenagers at one time. What a blessing and a challenge.

You will have your work cut out for you but with God's direction and lots of prayers you will do fine. As far as your health. We have to take one day at a time. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. Your attitude is great and that will carry you through.

Hugs & prayers coming your way for you brand new family!

 

[dj/utvolsfan]

I'm very happy for you two also. You'll be amazed once little Emma is in your life how much your focus will change. Sure, you definitely still have to take care of yourself (and I will warn you we mamas often put ourselves on the back burner, but please don't do that!) but you are going to be so busy you won't have a heck of alot of time to worry needlessly about your heart! By needlessly, I mean the stats are on our side and you must remember that fact on your doubting days. You are going to be tired...but not because of your heart....just from being a mama!! Get lots of sleep NOW!!!
On to teenagers.........I've taught 7th graders for 18 years now and I can truely say they are the greatest! I bet I've only had a hand full that I would have preferred to have not experienced!!! I totally enjoyed my three kids during their teenage years as well. Complete blessings with very little drama if any....maybe I just got lucky. Nip back talking from the get-go, stand your ground and it should be smooth sailing for you all!
Many blessings are coming your way! Enjoy!
Debbi

 

[lisa jeanne]

Go for it!

Go for it!

A child brings so much joy and positive energy. Don't worry about a thing. You are going to be fine and if something does need to be done...you will do it. When one has a child you become very strong! Good Luck. Cannot wait to hear all the fun stories!!!


Lisa, snoopy, and riley

 

[Sherry]

You're not crazy at all, Christina. You and Wayne will be terrific, very doting parents.

 

[Gail in Ca]

Daughters

Daughters

My daughter, age 2, after my first AVR and aneurism resecton, said, "I want to see your scar." Fast forward 11 years, at age 14, she climbed into my hospital bed and I held her in my arms, before my 2nd AVR. I hadn't done that in years.
Having one child, especially a daughter, is, simply put, Wonderful!!
You will see!
Gail