J
JCDavis81
The first time I needed surgery, I was told by my cardiologist via phone on November 30th. Ten days later, on December 10th, I was being wheeled into the OR at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami for the Ross Procedure.
That was almost exactly 8 years ago. This time, the waiting has been a little bit longer than 10 days. Four years ago I was told that my root had dialated and it may need to be fixed. In March, my cardiologist told me that my aortic insufficiency had become severe and that it needed to be fixed within 3-6 months. So I waited and decided November would be the best time to have it done.
So now November has arrived, I've picked a surgeon (who I'm meeting with for the second time at 1:30 today) and my surgery is 18 days away...let me tell you, it cannot come soon enough. I thought waiting 10 days was bad the first time, well wait 10 months is so much worse. It's not that I'm always worrying about the surgery (I do, but not all the time) but it is ALWAYS on my mind. I think about the surgery and the recovery, the type of valve vs. the type of repair, the surgeon and the hospital, insurance and travel. And on and on and on.
I'm so tired of it. I'm ready to get this thing over with. Now i finally mean it when I say, bring it on doc. I'm still scared at times but confident that I'll survive. I'm sure the night before surgery will be tough but it always is. I'm not going to cry anymore or be angry anymore or be worried anymore. I'm just going to laugh at the absurdity of it all and go into it with blind faith.
Have any of you seen Vanilla Sky? Most people hated it (I think I may have been the only person in the country that actually enjoyed it so I wouldn't recommend it if you haven't seen it). So if you haven't seen it and plan on doing so, don't read any further because I'm about to spoil the ending. (sorry paula )
Anyway, at the end of the movie the main character is standing on the roof of a skyscrapper in a dream and can only wake up if he jumps off the roof -- he's not going to die, just wake up, but he's scared because he's afraid of heights. So he frets about it for a while and then all of a sudden RUNS toward the ledge, jumps up on it and then stops. He swivles around, smiles, then laughs (I assume about how absurd it is what he's about to do) and jumps.
That's how I feel right now. I'm ready to jump. I'm ready to laugh and be sure that I'm not going to go splat on the side walk.
I wish the surgery were tomorrow
That was almost exactly 8 years ago. This time, the waiting has been a little bit longer than 10 days. Four years ago I was told that my root had dialated and it may need to be fixed. In March, my cardiologist told me that my aortic insufficiency had become severe and that it needed to be fixed within 3-6 months. So I waited and decided November would be the best time to have it done.
So now November has arrived, I've picked a surgeon (who I'm meeting with for the second time at 1:30 today) and my surgery is 18 days away...let me tell you, it cannot come soon enough. I thought waiting 10 days was bad the first time, well wait 10 months is so much worse. It's not that I'm always worrying about the surgery (I do, but not all the time) but it is ALWAYS on my mind. I think about the surgery and the recovery, the type of valve vs. the type of repair, the surgeon and the hospital, insurance and travel. And on and on and on.
I'm so tired of it. I'm ready to get this thing over with. Now i finally mean it when I say, bring it on doc. I'm still scared at times but confident that I'll survive. I'm sure the night before surgery will be tough but it always is. I'm not going to cry anymore or be angry anymore or be worried anymore. I'm just going to laugh at the absurdity of it all and go into it with blind faith.
Have any of you seen Vanilla Sky? Most people hated it (I think I may have been the only person in the country that actually enjoyed it so I wouldn't recommend it if you haven't seen it). So if you haven't seen it and plan on doing so, don't read any further because I'm about to spoil the ending. (sorry paula )
Anyway, at the end of the movie the main character is standing on the roof of a skyscrapper in a dream and can only wake up if he jumps off the roof -- he's not going to die, just wake up, but he's scared because he's afraid of heights. So he frets about it for a while and then all of a sudden RUNS toward the ledge, jumps up on it and then stops. He swivles around, smiles, then laughs (I assume about how absurd it is what he's about to do) and jumps.
That's how I feel right now. I'm ready to jump. I'm ready to laugh and be sure that I'm not going to go splat on the side walk.
I wish the surgery were tomorrow