After too much hesitation and procrastination.......

[Eva]

Dear All,

I like first to tell you all that I always thought of you and I missed you very much.

I logged on when I could focus! I read some threads, read some of your posts, felt happy to find many new members are doing great, but I felt bad that I could not contribute! I could not think...I could not organize my thoughts nor stay focussed on what I read! So, I logged off hoping I might feel better the *following day*. That day has not come yet

(I am now having a problem focussing on writing this. It takes me forever to think!)

First time I recognized something is wrong was in October 2009. We had house-guests and my husband asked me to arrange a trip to San Francisco. Though we had been several times to SF before, yet, I felt confused: which hotel to stay in?! which friends or relatives to visit?! what to do there or after SF?! Wow! I felt overwhelemed and exhausted without doing anything!

On top of all this, I am very forgetful..I receive a bill, I put it in my "action folder" and forget about it. I receive a "on-hold" phone call, I promise to call back, I completely forget about it. I would remember everything I forgot during the day only at night! And I would forget them again the next day.

FYI: I had my lat echo in March at my ex-cardiologist's office...the one I fired before my surgery. I always liked his detailed echocardiograms. Overall, he was happy with my heart's functioning...my EF has increased from 50 to 60. Yet, surprisingly, his echo showed a trace of Aortic Valve regurgitation! Oops, all previous reports revealed Mitral Valve regurgitation! He asked me not to drive myself crazy about it! Is this what is happening to me?!

Is it a delayed "post-surgery" depression? If so, can I be depressed and able to have fun and enjoy friends and good times?

Is it ADD, as it was suggested? My cardiologist, my PCP, and anyone who knows me doubt it very much. If so, why now?! I did not have any symptoms as a child nor as a teenager nor as an adult?! I had always been commended for my strong organizational/planning skills and for my sharp memory?

Is it start of amnesia?

Too much stress? why cannot I handle it as before?!

Is there too much on my plate?

All blood work are normal!

What is going on with me? Anyone else? Any thoughts? Is this just a *long* phase that I will come out from, hopefully.

I have an open mind. Throw it unto me.

Thanks in advance!

 

[kfay]

Eva, I've missed seeing you around. I experience many of the things you mention. I also have problems with words from time to time...for example, we were looking at colleges this summer with my daughter and one of them was Boston College. I said to my husband and daughter, ...Coston Bollege..., they both looked at me strangely, so, I said it again, same way, I then noticed a look of concern on both of their faces, so I realized that I was saying something wrong, but I heard it in my head the right way, so I said it again, the same way, I then realized how I was saying it, but it took two more tries to get it right. I've done this several times and the only way I know something isn't right is the weird look the person gives me after I say it. I do the same when typing now. It takes much longer to type posts because alot of times I start with the end of the sentence instead of the beginning. Weird.

At first, I was alarmed by these things. But my family and I have learned to laugh them off. I asked my neurologist about it because at first I was afraid something bad was happening. She assured me that wasn't the case. My internest said he definitely thought it was related to my surgery. He said he didn't believe they really understood all the brain changes that can take place as a result of this surgery. So, I just try and compensate for it where I can and laugh off the times when I can't.

 

[Cooker]

Eva .. I'm sorry this is going on ... I have days when I can't focus and am forgetful but I chalk it up to stress, fatigue or both ... if it continues to be a problem seek other professional opinions .... we have missed you ... you are in my prayers....

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Eva -

Have you had a Neurological assessment? There has been a LOT of discussion of such issues, often referred to as "pumphead". You can find them by searching for "pumphead" and/or "cognitive" and/or "memory".

What does your Primary Care Physician say about the differences between your cognitive abilities Before and After Surgery?

Since you DO eventually remember the things that you couldn't remember earlier, that is a Good Sign.
I recommend that you keep a NoteBook to help you remember things.
Having TO DO Lists is a good way to keep track of tasks that need to be done.
You can then either cross them off as those tasks are completed or write down the date (and time?) when you finished that item.

'AL C'

 

[Duffey]

Eva,
I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but I'm glad you're sharing and allowing us to support you. I have found that when stressful events are occuring, and they can range from happy stressful events to physical/emotional stressful events, my brain seems to go into neutral. I think it's due to stimulus overload. Once things calm down, and sometimes it takes several months, my brain works the way I expect it to work.
I wish I offer you more advice, but I think others have said it better.

 

[njean]

My dear Eva,

As you can see by previous posts, you are not alone in what you've been going through! Remember during one of our phone conversations that I confessed to you that I had similar problems?

I went through a stage about 2 years ago, where my mind was in a complete fog! I would send out checks without a signature or the money amounts written on the checks would not match! I can't even remember how many I received back for such errors!

I had to alert our CPA to make sure and keep a good eye on whatever I turned in because of my memory lapses! It was embarrassing to have to acknowledge this to someone that wasn't a close friend or relative!

There were times when I would have to press the alert button on my car key thingy because I didn't remember where I'd parked my car!

Things have gotten better but I still experience moments of forgetfulness, disorganization, etc. But my poor cat, if she could talk, will tell you how scary it is for her.......time & time again, I've locked her in the garage, and it's not until my husband notices that she's not around that he'll ask me. I just say, "check the garage.....she may be in there!" :eek2:

So don't dispair.....I have a feeling that you'll come out of the fog & things will start to appear brighter for you eventually!

P.S. I hope you sis mentioned to you that I called you yesterday......something told me that things were not right with you because I hadn't seen or heard from you in a while!

Many hugs going out to you!

 

[Luana]

I would suggest a neurological assessment, too. You may have had one or more TIAs, transient ischemic attacks, sometimes also called mini-strokes.

 

[Eva]

Thank you, all. I knew I could count on you.:smile2: I am responding to each post here below:

Eva, I've missed seeing you around. I experience many of the things you mention. I also have problems with words from time to time.............

........ He said he didn't believe they really understood all the brain changes that can take place as a result of this surgery. So, I just try and compensate for it where I can and laugh off the times when I can't.

Thanks, Kimmie. I missed being around and I appreciate sharing with me your difficulties. In my heart, I really relate it to the surgery, but I was surprised that it got worse after a year! I remember after my "bunyon removal" surgery, I noticed a sharp decrease in my memory, but doctors did not believe me! I wish you/us well and wish your daughter success in her studies.

Eva .. .......I chalk it up to stress, fatigue or both ... if it continues to be a problem seek other professional opinions .... we have missed you ... you are in my prayers....

I missed you all too. I am hoping that this is too! Prayers are appreciated. Maybe I need to pray more myself too!

Eva -

Have you had a Neurological assessment? There has been a LOT of discussion of such issues, often referred to as "pumphead". You can find them by searching for "pumphead" and/or "cognitive" and/or "memory".

No, Al. But thanks for mentioning it. I will ask my PCP next time I see him.
I thought "pumphead" was only for a short duration after surgery! But, after searching the threads as you recommended, I found the following in the scientificamerican.com website:

Quote:
Recently, long-term studies of patients have shown that pumphead may worsen over time and persist for years. Many factors could be involved, but microscopic cell debris and bubbles generated by the machine are under suspicion. Unquote


What does your Primary Care Physician say about the differences between your cognitive abilities Before and After Surgery?
My PCP takes it lightly...he always commends me for being organized because I always go to him with all my questions in a notebook! He tells me that normally those who worry about dementia do not get it nor would go to him with organized questions! He does not care for how long it took me to put the list of questions together. He thinks it is stress! He asked me if wanted to try 10 mg of Prozac to help with some of anxiety I may be having. I agreed and I started it two weeks ago and I wonder if this is why I was able to post my thread yesterday, though with difficulty!

Since you DO eventually remember the things that you couldn't remember earlier, that is a Good Sign.

This is a great point! Thanks! I did not think about it this way! :thumbup:

I recommend that you keep a NoteBook to help you remember things.
Having TO DO Lists is a good way to keep track of tasks that need to be done.
You can then either cross them off as those tasks are completed or write down the date (and time?) when you finished that item.

I do, but I forget to look at it. I remember my "to do list" at night and then I get out of bed and add more things to it...just to remain on paper .


'AL C'

Eva,
I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but I'm glad you're sharing and allowing us to support you. I have found that when stressful events are occuring, and they can range from happy stressful events to physical/emotional stressful events, my brain seems to go into neutral. I think it's due to stimulus overload. Once things calm down, and sometimes it takes several months, my brain works the way I expect it to work.
I wish I offer you more advice, but I think others have said it better.

Thanks, Duffey! I knew I could count on you all. You are absolutely right about the overload and the stress from happy events too!:thumbup:

My dear Eva,

As you can see by previous posts, you are not alone in what you've been going through! Remember during one of our phone conversations that I confessed to you that I had similar problems?

I went through a stage about 2 years ago, where my mind was in a complete fog! I would send out checks without a signature or the money amounts written on the checks would not match! I can't even remember how many I received back for such errors!

I had to alert our CPA to make sure and keep a good eye on whatever I turned in because of my memory lapses! It was embarrassing to have to acknowledge this to someone that wasn't a close friend or relative! I feel embarrassed too!

There were times when I would have to press the alert button on my car key thingy because I didn't remember where I'd parked my car! I do this a lot these days, mainly at Costco! I even went one time back to the office and suggested they mark the parking areas with letters or numbers!

Things have gotten better but I still experience moments of forgetfulness, disorganization, etc. But my poor cat, if she could talk, will tell you how scary it is for her.......time & time again, I've locked her in the garage, and it's not until my husband notices that she's not around that he'll ask me. I just say, "check the garage.....she may be in there!" :eek2:

So don't dispair.....I have a feeling that you'll come out of the fog & things will start to appear brighter for you eventually!

P.S. I hope you sis mentioned to you that I called you yesterday......something told me that things were not right with you because I hadn't seen or heard from you in a while!

Many hugs going out to you!

You are absolutely so right, dear Norma. Yes, I normally disappear when things are not right! You have always been an inspiration and an :angel:

Thank you all again for your input. I feel better!

 

[Eva]

I would suggest a neurological assessment, too. You may have had one or more TIAs, transient ischemic attacks, sometimes also called mini-strokes.

Thanks, Luana. I remember now that one time after I complained about not feeling well while I was in the hospital, the nurse who did the EKG allowed to look at the computer results which described (?) cannot remember the exact word. But he allowed me to take my time and write down the results. I looked it up on the computer later and it was "transient ischemic attack"! When I asked my doctor about it, he denied there was anything like that in the report
Of course I could not argue with him then, though I was not convinced in my heart!

 

[Bina]

Eva, I know you have had a very busy family life this past year and that is wonderful, but maybe you just need some downtime ?
Maybe keep a diary of your symptoms and feelings-- it may help you or your doctor to see a pattern or possible solution.
I secretly feel reassured when my husband forgets things and leaves tons of notes everywhere with reminders. Hee Hee
(no surgery for him---just scrambled brains)

 

[Eva]

Eva, I know you have had a very busy family life this past year and that is wonderful, but maybe you just need some downtime ?
Maybe keep a diary of your symptoms and feelings-- it may help you or your doctor to see a pattern or possible solution.
I secretly feel reassured when my husband forgets things and leaves tons of notes everywhere with reminders. Hee Hee
(no surgery for him---just scrambled brains)

Thanks Bina. You are right. I forgot all about the house guests we had last year!! Though I was thrilled and enjoyed it, but it could have been stressful too!