Advice for males

[Mary]

The "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all
a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other! After reading this, don't say you haven't been warned!!!


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

And. . .

13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pi--y Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

And finally, one picture is worth a thousand words!

 

[Glenda]

Mary, this is so funny. A friend of mine had e-mailed this to me the other day. Now if men would just pay attention! !

 

[tommy]

I'm paying attention.

DANGEROUS: Get real
SAFER: I'll try to become Mr. Sensitive?
SAFEST: Just put up a sign in the doorway when I get home
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

 

[Blanche]

Just loved it, Mary. Gonna send it to my son. It's the Cat's meow.
Blanche

 

[Superbob]

Sweet

Sweet

Great stuff A big Hershey's Kiss to you, Mary! Oh heck, a big bag of Hershey's kisses!

 

[gadgetman]

I ALWAYS have the last word in my house,,,,,,,,

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YES DEAR, WHATEVER YOU SAY!!!!!!!!

Usually followed by a QUICK EXIT!!!!!!!!

May God Bless,

Danny