Addicted

[Guest]

Between the Bonnie's death and a phone call from a friend who I haven't heard from in a long time because he is no longer on any message board, it has been quite an interesting week. These instances reminded me of several members from all of the different boards who either are truly no longer with us, or just have "fallen off the face of the earth" due to not posting or visiting the forums anymore.... When I notice people haven't posted in a while, I'll wonder what happened to 'em and hope/pray that all is well. Heh ... given a few other things going on now and over the course of the last month or so, I've thought about taking a "leave of absence" from the forums for a while, but each time I think I will, another new subject is posted by someone that keeps me active. Course, it's always interesting to see the choice of "topic title" people use for their thread-starting posts....

This got me to wondering if I'm just addicted to the boards and to reading what others have to say ... or, if I stay because of the people. Perhaps it is a mixture of the two...but, for me, I think it is more because of the people, because I miss regulars when they don't post for a long time...and I don't like missing anything or anyone....

How about you? Why do you visit the forums? Addiction? People connections? Or?



Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker
WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"Time is forever but love is a fire" ... Crystal Gayle ... 'Sound Of Goodbye'

 

[marky]

Cort I understand what you are saying.
I am pretty active on a homeschooling board and when certain moms don't post for a while I get to wondering how things are and what is wrong.
then I dash myself with reality and realize that People get busy..
I think for me I go through Seasons.. Some weeks I am here daily even several Times a day
other weeks I may not stop in at all. Much of it depends on what is happening IRL.
I think we develop connections with our Board Buddies B/C we relate to what each other is going through. IN this day and age of Cyber land..for many of us it is the ONLY way we can have those connections.
Personally I LOVE the Support found here and at my other board. But for me and only for me I say this..sometimes I MUST find Balance.
I can get too absorbed in Cyber land that I ignore Real Life..
I mean after all my laundry must get done and dinner must get cooked
But I feel like I have a community of Friends here..and I dont' want to leave them..Ever!

 

[epstns]

Well, I would say that in my case I come here first for the people -- I have found many friendships here and I just naturally want to keep up with what is happening in my friends' lives. I do learn a lot here, but people bring me back daily as opposed to just occationally to catch up on the techy stuff.

Other boards that I frequent run the gamut. Some I only visit every few weeks to see what technical stuff is happening. Others I visit daily to see new articles or techie stuff.

vr.com is vastly different for me, as this is the only internet board where I have made real friends. For me, the others are merely focused information gathering tools. Might as well be magazines. . .

 

[hensylee]

it's because of people like you, Cort, that we all stay. It's become a family and one never leaves family.

Speaking of Bonnie, even she and I discussed leaving VR on occasion - but we just wandered back on in. Just something about our family that we just can't give up.

The last 2-3 days I went through our entire membership list to find those who might want to know. I found so many who 'used to be' and a lot who check in only sometimes.

Amazingly, we all know that some come back when the need is there again even if they have been gone for some yrs. They can never forget the comraderie they found in VR.

When one finds fast friends where else can you go except where they are...........

 

[Nancy]

For me, it was the only group of people who understood what was happening with my husband. Our neighbors and friends couldn't help and actually distanced themselves, family couldn't help except for daughters (they understood) who live at a distance, and unbelieveably, even some doctors couldn't help.

That left Joe and I almost alone to try to figure out what to do when things weren't working out.

Through this site, there were links to other sites that had information, and it opened up a whole new avenue for me to try to get help for Joe. He wasn't interested in computers, and I was, so I was his conduit for gathering medical help.

But there was something else that came along with this, and that was a sense of family and friendship. People outside of the Internet don't understand how one can become close with someone they have never met, but we are living proof that it is possible.

My doctor often wondered if I needed a support group locally, but I told him I had one available 24/7 right at my fingertips. Such a convenience, such a comfort.

I suspect that those who think they have become addicted have been asked that by a person who doesn't understand.

I truly don't think it is addiction. I think we are the smart ones who are getting help when we need it, and who are also offering help when we can.

It is a wonderful two-way street.

Why clutter up your mind with the "addiction" thinking? Just enjoy the wonderfulness of the site.

 

[WayneGM]

This is the only message board I actively participate in. I am a member of others, mostly related to hobbies or professional development. I rarely visit them, although I subscribe to a couple of digest e-mails but more often than not delete it them before even reading them.

I think I've stuck around this particular forum because the subject matter is so personal to me (close to my heart so to speak), and because of the personalities and relationships that have evolved here. I too wonder at times about those MIA who posted for awhile and then disappeared. I like to believe they are alright and simply got on with their post-op life and decided to move on. My wife has often wondered why I still linger here, and worries that perhaps lingering around here has prevented me from putting the OHS further behind me. I've thought about it, but I believe VR.com is helping me put the OHS behind me through supporting and encouraging the newbies.

 

[Bina]

I understand that some of the "yak-yak" boards can become nothing more than a mindless addiction.

VR.com does not fall into that category.....this place is a true life line....with a little bit of chat and humour thrown in for good balance.

 

[marie]

I understand that some of the "yak-yak" boards can become nothing more than a mindless addiction.

VR.com does not fall into that category.....this place is a true life line....with a little bit of chat and humour thrown in for good balance.

I couldn't have said it better.
Earline

 

[Rain]

Because I care

Because I care

Well Cort.... after talking, meeting and caring about each other for 8 years it would be strange if we just stopped caring one day.

So don't you even think about totally disappearing on us!!!

 

[LUVMyBirman]

I know where you live Cort dear Do understand your thought process.
Initally looking for support, and whoa! Life changed forever! In a great way. Then on to supporting. As time progressed, the torch passed to some wonderful newer members that continue to be here no matter what! Wish I had the time to be more active. I do check in. Not as often as I would like. Life has a funny way of changing. Then bringing you back home. I intend to 'be around' for a long time coming.

Value ALL of the great friendships formed! Would not trade any of you for the world!

 

[dick0236]

Addiction ?, I don't think so

Addiction ?, I don't think so

Throughout my life I've used the telephone, mail, and now the Internet to receive and pass on information. I look at this forum in the same way. I use it for the "informational value", not chatting.

I only found this forum one year ago and it has become an invaluable resource for me. I visit and read these posts almost daily and reply when I think I can add something. For many, many years information and support was hard to find except in medical language ( usually over my head) or spoon fed to me by my doctors (some good....some bad info).

Knowledge is Power !!!

 

[Superbob]

There are positive addictions and negative addictions.

Communicating with kindred spirits here is a positive addiction, just as is trail hiking or long-distance running (to name just two examples of activities that produce adrenalin rushes in healthy ways).

The negative addictions are too numerous to list (and all too much in the news).

 

[EVELYN]

Hi All

I thought about what you had to say, Cort, and for me, there's no question why I'm here.....it's the people. The people on this site were so wonderful and understanding to me when my husband had his surgery, that I feel/felt such a compassion and understanding that many others....even family members.....just didn't.

The support, comradarie, and genuine caring is something very special. Whether I check in every day or once a week, I know I can touch base and maybe give back to people in the same situation as we were. It's a very special place, and I hope to never lose the wealth of knowledge and compassion that ebbs from this site every day.

Well, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Evelyn

 

[Susan]

great people, excellent information

great people, excellent information

I arrived grief stricken and searching for information after my husband died. There is much to learn here but the people make it a place to visit daily.
It is always good when someone has a successful outcome and posts from home for the first time post-op!

 

[Ross]

If I were able bodied, I be working all the time and wouldn't have time for the web. Being that this is not the case, about all I can do is be on the web, so well, there ya have it.

 

[BDMc]

Addiction / Dependence

Addiction / Dependence

Cort, I lost my reply before I could post yesterday, but the basics were: I have come to depend on many here. Not in a negative way, but the way one does on those we trust, whether family or friends. Most of the time I'm a lurker here, and many may not know that I exist, or have come to care about them via this site. I came here long after my surgery, but still have questions and issues that only folks here really understand. I home test, and have gotten invaluable ACT management info here/via this site (Al). I sometimes stay away for a week or more, but am drawn back, because I want to check in on my friends, or the newbies. Sometimes I stop by to get perspective on my problems. Many of you let us be witness to your trials and suffering, and to the grace and dignity with which you face them. Numerous times I've been reading of Ross' tribulations, only to LOL at his humor! This site gives us a reach that spans the globe, and links our opened hearts. I have come to really respect, and value many here. Some for their clear bright posts, some for humor (Cooker, Gadgetman, Bina...) and all for the care they demonstrate. Caring is a commodity my world is far too short of! So I may not be really "addicted", but I do depend on many of you, and you never let me down. It is curious, that even our curses are blessings. Your valve Bro, Brian Mc

 

[bvdr]

I truly feel like you all are part of my family. Cort....if you leave it better be for only a day or two because I would miss you. There are so many members here that I would love to meet face to face and hopefully I will some day. I have been so fortunate to have met some of you though and Cort, I'm glad you are one of them. I picture you going down the road in one of the "girls" and can picture the smile on your face. Yep, you feel like family and I like that.

 

[Guest]

Why clutter up your mind with the "addiction" thinking?

*chuckles*

My mind is so very cluttered as it is . I was thinking about uncluttering it ... but, maybe I just need to post less and read more ... so I don't spend sssooo much time on all of my boards, since this is only one of many I visit during the evening hours....

So don't you even think about totally disappearing on us!!!

I know where you live Cort dear

*raises eyebrow curiously*

Are these threats ... or warnings?

I have been so fortunate to have met some of you though and Cort, I'm glad you are one of them. I picture you going down the road in one of the "girls" and can picture the smile on your face.

Uh oh. Someone else knows me too well . LOL!


I'm glad to have met you, too, Betty, as well as many others here.....



Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker
WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"It hurts to feel like such a fool" ... Dan Seals ... 'Addicted'

 

[Andrew'sMom]

For me, it was the only group of people who understood what was happening with my husband. Our neighbors and friends couldn't help and actually distanced themselves, family couldn't help except for daughters (they understood) who live at a distance, and unbelieveably, even some doctors couldn't help.

Nancy, you said it just as well as anyone could have in your first paragraph! That's why I come here -- people here know and understand. Other people don't.

I'm sometimes gone for a few days/weeks/maybe even a month at a time as I try to keep my juggling act going here at home ... but I always find my way back when I stumble on a few extra moments in time.

 

[Glenda]

I was off line for a while because of computer problems and look what happened. The passing of a precious angel, Bonnie. You guys are my friends, closer than some of my family. You understand better than my friends and family. I don't post as often as I used to but I do lurk about reading the posts. I am so glad that I found this wonderful site. You all mean the world to me and don't you forget it! Even my husband will ask what is happening on the site. I sometimes feel I don't have much to offer to the site because others can say it with words so much better than me.

But I love you guys and I wish I could meet every one of you in person.