a bit ashamed

[youngmom]

Being that I'm young and like to wear cute clothes I was struggling with the fact I would have this scar right between my girls but then I see where Angelina jo lee had her girls totally removed. SMH at myself vanity is ignorant at this point. It always can be worse. Thank the Lord for his blessings on me!

 

[Jkm7]

It's your badge of honor for your bravery and being a survivor of a very difficult and traumatic event.

I had my scar opened twice and was sure it would be a ropey mess. It is now five years later and I can barely find some sections of it. I grant I am a very good 'healer' but still it gives hope yours may fade as well. I never stopped wearing my low cut, my v-neck or whatever other tops I wanted. I never once saw anyone stare or was asked a rude question.

Wear your scar with delight that you were born in a time when your heart could be repaired.

 

[tom in MO]

People are amazingly diverse, for everyone that does not like your scar, there are 20 who don't care and 5 who think it's neat

 

[SuzanneSLO]

Being that I'm young and like to wear cute clothes I was struggling with the fact I would have this scar right between my girls but then I see where Angelina jo lee had her girls totally removed. SMH at myself vanity is ignorant at this point. It always can be worse. Thank the Lord for his blessings on me!

You should never be ashamed for having totally natural, human thoughts.

First, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. Second, I would think that it can be very unnerving to have the scar staring back at you and reminding you that you are vulnerable.

The important thing is that you are not letting these struggles stop you from doing what is medically necessary.

As for Angelina Jolie, although she had a prophylactic double mastectomy, she also had breast reconstruction surgery. Had she not made her proceedure public, it is possible that the public would never know. And you can bet that she agonized over how she would look after the surgery and hired the best plastic surgeons available.

Best of luck to you -- Suzanne

 

[Oilman]

I agree with the others, these thoughts your having of "what will people think" or the staring, are more in our own minds, but a total natural thought for us to be thinking pre surgery. People are curious, that will never change. Even being a male, I had these thoughts, hoping I would be lucky enough that my scar would clear away perfect, I don't give it much thought now. Really don't care, glad to be fixed.

Just have a look in the TOOTS forum and some people's scars are very neat and unnoticeable. Some of the gals can wear the fancy equipment to squeeze the girls together only leaving a inch of scar that after time would be real hard to see, lucky them.

I just returned from Mexico and wore my badge of honour, and it didn't bother me as much as I had imagined. My scar was only 5 months old, people looked, never asked, probably cause all they speak is Spanish lol. I find now that I feel fortunate that I am still standing in my swimming attire and enjoying things with my family again, snorkelling with the sea turtles was a highlight on this trip for me. As time goes by now, I'm starting to do less thinking about my procedure and more living as I did before hand. We truly are blessed to have these medical procedures and the people that do them. So don't be ashamed, be proud, you will be a survivor.

 

[Heart Of The Sunrise]

I feel mine is a badge of honor. Not only did I survive the surgery, but I survived (DHCA) Deep Hypothermic Cardiac Arrest. DHCA is a pretty amazing procedure that allows the surgeon to operate on the patient with no pulse, blood pressure or brainwaves. I was clinically dead for 19 minutes!

 

[carolinemc]

That scar is your badge of honor. I was always proud from childhood when I had my repair and now after the second which I got a valve replacement. I have never been ashamed of the scar, some people would ask the most stupidest of questions, "Did the surgery hurt?" or "Were you asleep?" Never ceased to amaze me as a child or adult. You keep being thankful and proud of that scar. Wear it with pride. Go girlfriend. Hug for today.

 

[Rachel]

Youngmom - don't ever be ashamed about your thoughts - I'm a whole lot older than you, and even I care about how I look!!!

It's been almost two years for me and I honestly don't even think about it - I wear whatever I want - I view it as a badge of courage and strength because it is!

I've even had total strangers complement me on not hiding it - one said just last week - "I think it's cool"

 

[Bryan B]

If this is inappropriate I apologize in advance, but I wanted to give you a perspective from a guy's point of view. If a guy is staring in the direction of your "girls" he most likely isn't looking at your scar. In all seriousness though guys might not admit it but some of us can be self conscious about our scars too. I go to the beach a lot and was a bit self conscious about my scar at first. I have some camouflage at the top (hair), but after 2 surgeries the area below my sternum looks like I was on the losing end of a gun fight lol. I don't worry about it now, it's just part of who I am. Good luck with your upcoming surgery youngmom, you will be in good hands at Duke!!!

 

[Leah]

I am 39 & had my AVR 10 weeks ago. I thought I would be really self conscious of my scar too. None of my shirts covered it & I wanted to buy a whole new wardrobe. My husband said it was just an excuse to go shopping . It doesn't bother me at all. No one has commented on it except for the girls at my cardiologist's office and they all comment about how good it looks. I still wear my cute clothes. If anybody stares at it, just give 'em the old "Hey, my eyes are up HERE." Lol. Don't be ashamed of your feelings. Yes, some people go through much worse but it is still a lot to go through.