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Thank you oh wise prof. Couldn't have handled it better myself...

If only - although I fear I would keep stepping on her. She's a tiny little thing, and I am not..

Mais bien sur!!! As to "no access to health education" I must admit that that comment goes right passed me. I live in the centre of the universe. A land where everyone professes the absolute state of idealistic perfection. There is nowhere else on the planet that surpasses this place in terms...

To all of my culinary friends, this tedious Sunday I am SO enjoying seeing who "gets it" and who don't..... May your gods go with you..

Oh, but Joan, thats where you're wrong. I DO have to be perfect!! And not enough to BE perfect, I need to be perceived as such. I need international recognition of such. Indeed - failure to achieve such perfection would be a disaster of almost biblical proportions..

Something has been troubling me deeply of late and I wonder whether anyone might have an answer. Living n France as I do, I occasionally have the chance to try some different types of food. Its all cool if you live in a city (which I don't), however if you live in the sticks (which I do) you...

Well - one can only wish!! Regrets - I've had a few. Women also, bismilah. Been there, done that. Too aged to bother with trying to find another...

Oh - Do you live in Fantasy-Land??!! What in heavens would even bring one to IMAGINE such an errant and impossible concept! Future Wife - VERY likely!! Go THAT route instead if all other options have been exhausted.

Hey Rich No words of wisdom, mate. Just a general statement of intent that I have found has kept me alive and almost healthy (I have a bunch of other issues to contend with....). I have found that keeping two things close to you will help you overcome almost everything: 1. A positive state of...

Dearest Slipkid Your post caught my attention as it features a photo of a former boss. Yes, sir, I actually used to work for Pete Townsend at his Eel Pie studios MANY MANY years ago - before i lost my hair and my two valves. Don't know why I am mentioning it, but thought that it might add to...

I STRONGLY recommend standing in front of an in-coming train (any type will do, so long as its not a toy) and then squeeking before you go "SPLAT!" (or it might be "CRUNCH!"). Make sure someone is there to photograph you too - it would be a wasted moment if you don't.

Congrats! Where did you have it done?

However unpleasant it might be to take a drug that keeps you alive, it simply MUST be better than NOT being alive. Simple calculation. And if, shudder the thought, your query is finance-related, then I would suggest that you move to a country where you don't have to mortgage yourself to get...

Thanks Prof I have a sinking feeling that there is little I can practicably do other than either move house or re-do all four floors plus basement. I have changed to using a warm air blower for my heating and that seems to help - a healthy (or not) blast of hot dry air seems to have eliminated...

Cow bones also smell like cow dung. BEWARE if you approach anyone with a "Cow Bone Valve" as they are wont to drop a pile on the ground where they are standing, and then go "Moo!!" if you reject it. I have myself been thrice accosted by people with cow valves - once in the throws of intimate...

Good luck with the drugs Prof Pellicle. They're an effing pain in the arse to be sure. Something tells me, however, that they're better than being dead, so drugs win!! A miserable choice 2 B sure.....

A-Ha Prof. Pellicle!! I had a feeling you would magically appear!!!

Oh hell - a VERY final word (sorry). I have to admit that I have other health-related problems that actually cause me more daily headache and strife than the cardiac crap (axialised non-radiographic Ankylosing Spondylitis). So I guess that I need to come clean and admit that I DO in fact spend...

I would just like to add one thing to my previous post - in all Johnsonian seriousness. As serious as a cardiac problem is, don't take it too seriously. Don't define yourself by it. Life goes on and you need to be an integral part of it, rather than looking from the sidelines wishing that you...

Hi Gail. Even though British, I live in France (where my life was rescued and revitalised in an emergency Open Heart procedure resulting in TWO mechanical valves). So, Welcome to the home of the almost-dead!! Trainee zombies that we are, a sense of humour is strictly NOT allowed, nor is any...